Letter 11: Types of Spirits

To My Noah,

I got a little nervous to post my last blog because someone was thinking the wrong things. It's better for them to be afraid that I am violating the Bible than not believe at all. It's actually the complete opposite, we work with the Bible. Today, we will talk about the types of spirits we have dealt with and crossed over.  

I got a crash course in transitioning souls bc I just wanted rid of the spirits and get them to stop possessing and harassing my children. They wanted to transition, so it was a way of getting rid of them. And it worked to get rid of them.

Some souls are afraid to cross over because they don't think they are going to heaven because they were bad in life. They are super harassing. Others, I am not sure can transition because they are what the Bible calls demons. 

I am not sure what Chad, the spirit that possessed Logan, really was because we didn't see him. He said he went through different dimensions to get to us. From what I've read and learned from others, ETs are from other dimensions. If so, he came early for ETs. He wanted to transition, so if he was an ET, they can cross over. He would be the only ET that I worked directly with to transition.

We can see shadows that look like ovals like you see on tv, shadows in a shape (like the hat man), spirits that look like people, spirits that look like demons and goblins, two spirits that look like devils, and spirits that look like ETs. The bad ETs present looking like Dracos and Greys. I put a pic to give an idea of what these two look like on the top, Draco (left) and Grey (right). 

We had one good ET looking spirit that stayed with Lexi saying she was protecting her. Her name was Sally. I didn't want any help from the ETs, but she did no harm. I am not sure how they present in form. I don't know how they present at all, but they do. 

I see them in my mind's eye, but the kids were young and could see them with their regular eyes. Young children and animals can pick up spirits when adults can't. At first, I couldn't see them with my mind's eye at all, I could only hear. However, I learned out of terror how to see them with my mind's eye to help the kids. 

Back to the order that we got them in. First, we had just shadow forms. They just showed up, not attacked. They scared the kids and sent us to the counselor for him to tell me that the kids are seeing spirits. We were told later by paranormal team two that many of the shadows they first saw were slaves of the hat man that were trapped with him. He was their farmer owner. They did not attack other than being seen. 

Second, we had the hat man that was a shadow that presented as a man with a hat on. He lasted for almost a year. He never crossed over, he just stopped bothering us. Unless he transitioned at another time that I do not know about. He wouldn't transition because he was so bad and thought he was going to hell.

Sometimes, I didn't have specific spirits that I transitioned. When we lived at the lake, there were many souls that were buried in the lake with graveyards under the lake. We were still having spirit attacks at the lake pretty bad. I made a deal that I would open a portal over our part of the lake every Wednesday if they stopped attacking the kids. I did this for a few weeks. 

They didn't stop attacking the kids, so I stopped my Wednesday portals to transition them. I was trying to teach boundaries like other psychic mediums told me to do. It didn't work though. Neither did calling on God, Jesus, Archangel Michael or a Priest/demonologist. The priest, Archangel Michael, and Jesus would fight with us, but it didn't magically stop them coming like calling Jesus' or God's name is told to do. They did not stop attacking us this way for four years, until I left Jonathan and cut off all contact. 

Many of the spirits that possessed the kids to transition said they were humans that were bad people and victims of bad people. We had Adam that came after the hat man who was the first to possess Lexi. We could not get rid of Adam for about six months. Him and possession is the reason I called the priest/demonologist in Tennessee. I'm not Catholic, but he was also a demonologist/exorcist and paranormal team two suggested him. 

Adam came when we left my mother's birthday party at the church. I was driving down the road. Logan told me that a spirit named Adam was in the backseat with them. Adam told Logan that he was an ancestor. I still have no idea what ancestor he was because I did our genealogy and didn't find an Adam. They lie a lot. 

Adam started like the hat man, scratching the kids. The night I finally decided to move in with Jonathan, Adam slung Lexi around in her room. I could not see him, but she went flying all around the room with what looked like nothing throwing her around. This was early on, and I freaked out. 

I called Jonathan and said we were moving in with him. I packed us up and left our house on the Charwood Golf Course. The hat man lives on that golf course, by the way. We were told by paranormal team two that it used to be his farmland before it was a golf course.  

It got worse and escalated to possession when we moved to Jonathan's. The first time Lexi got possessed she was riding her bike at Jonathans. She came over on the bike with a different face and viscous sounding voice. 

It was clear that it wasn't her anymore. I panicked so bad. It was horrible when this happened to the kids. Sometimes they pass out and go into convulsions. They have negative experiences like getting beaten while they are gone. They come back with these terrible stories and pain from what happened to them while they were gone. The priest saw all of this in the videos. 

I only allowed him to view the videos. I was the only one that had them and then I destroyed them. I thought they were attracting spirits. I would never let the public see my kids, mainly my daughter like that.

The possessions by Adam lasted months. We could not get him to transition. We finally did get him to transition. He thought I was Mary Queen of Scots reincarnated and wanted to be with me. He really believed I was Mary. There is a lot more to the Mary story that I may tell later. 

I looked up Adam with Mary Queen of Scots and found Adam Bothwell, a bishop that married her to her third husband and crowned her son. He also wrote about her. I was able to tell him that Mary was waiting on the other side for him if he went. 

I heard a voice say she was Mary to get him to go into the portal. That's the only time I heard a voice with the portal. I think the voice is what really got him to go into the portal. The voice saying she was Mary, the priest, and me got him to transition. 

After Adam, we got a vicious family who said they were Lexi's family from a past life. It was a mom, dad, and two siblings. The dad was especially bad when he possessed Lexi. He used her body to try and stab me with a knife. The hungry ghosts who came later did too. Even with all of this going on, I made videos for the priest/demonologist. The Catholic Church knows that I am telling the truth. 

We also had two murder/suicide couples at around this time at Jonathan's. The first one that attacked Lexi was a little girl who got killed by her stepfather. The stepfather kept possessing Lexi. The murder victim/step-daughter only possessed Lexi one time. 

The stepdaughter came into Lexi and asked me to cross her over while the step father wasn't around. She said she got trapped here because of the murdering step-father. I transitioned her and then had to deal with the step-father possessing Lexi again. He was really mad that I transitioned his victim/step-daughter over while he was away. 

The step-daughter told me that spirits have a hard time transitioning when they have traumatic deaths. The step-father was scared of going to hell because he murdered and then committed suicide. I tried to get him to transition to go away and stop attacking Lexi, but he was afraid. I did finally talk him into it to get rid of him. My counseling skills came in handy with spirits too. 

I didn't get the story for the second murder/suicide couple. They saw the first one cross over and said they were like them in a murder/suicide. That one was easy to get to transition with only one possession to tell me they wanted to transition. This murder/suicide wasn't scared after the first one transitioned. 

After these past life and murder/suicide spirits, we got the hungry ghosts. They lasted for over six months. I didn't think we'd ever get rid of Harold. We called in Jesus and Archangel Michael the warrior/protector all of the time dealing with these spirits, but we saw them for the first time during the hungry ghosts. 

Yes, I have seen Jesus and Archangel Michael many times now. They fought them with us.  Jesus taught Lexi how to fight with white light and even make weapons out of white light. She taught us how to do it. 

Archangel Michael's famous sword is a white or blue light sword just so you know. You can use any color to make it more fun as long as it is Divine energy. We were taught white light, the most common first. You can fight them in your mind's eye to see it and it applies to the real world.

An important story I don't think I told you in my hungry ghost post is when Lexi got attacked at  Peachtree Rock. She got possessed after she climbed up the cliff by the waterfall and the hungry ghost in her threatened to jump off the cliff. I was down below watching them, but Logan was up on the cliff with Lexi. Logan knew what was happening and grabbed Lexi for me. We walked her back to the car to get it out of her. 

I had the "I love you mom" letters that she drew/wrote me to read to her to get her back. I panicked and came up with this technique to get her back. This was a particularly bad attack because it would not let her go. The priest/demonologist was impressed with the letter technique to get her back because it was new to him. 

After the hungry ghosts, we got demons and goblins. Goblins came through portals on the bathroom toilets. Demons came through portals in the house. We kept having to close their portals all over the house. They would open one to get into the house, and we would close it to shut them down. This went on for months. 

Then came what looked like the devil and what said and looked like the devil's son. The devil's son was worse than the devil. After that, we got what looked like and said they were ETs. We had demons and ETs for the last two years. Following that was the 4 year fake light being attack that I will talk about later. 

I don't know if ETs can cross over because I didn't transition them like I did the human souls, unless Chad was an ET. However, they could've went in the mass transitionings that I did like at the lake where I opened a portal and let whoever come through. I saw it, but the mass ones look like a bunch of shadows going through the portal, so I can't tell who they all are.

Well I am ready for bed. Writing about the attacks together took a lot out of me. I will edit in the morning and send it out. I found that lunch time during the week is best. However, I write everyday, so I will do around lunch tomorrow or later. I may take the sabbath/Sunday off. Good night my love! 💞

Love Always, 

Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Photos by: pintrest.com/artstation and villians.fandom.com

Letter 10: Witches Are Real

To My Noah,

I delayed today because I don't know what to talk about. I need to just free-write and let it come out. I did just get some feedback that if you don't read everything you can get lost and some older people are worried that I am getting involved with black magic. I do candle ceremonies, energy clearing, and manifestation that can be considered white magic. White/Good witches exist, but those are not the ones I encountered or will talk about today. However, I am in no way practicing black magic or devil worshiping of any form. Please readers, read all of the letters because I talk about God and not choosing this. I put a link for all letters in the posts.

We are survivors of having black magic and negative spirit attacks used on us. I talk about trying to give the psychic medium gifts back to God. It didn't work for years, but the kids finally got a break from theirs when they got older. I didn't get a break. 

We had black magic used on us many times by five evil witches that I know of. Evil witches, negative spirits, and black magic are real! There are also The Bible tells you so. The evil witches use spirits to hurt and manipulate people. 

This stuff happened to us at first through my innocent children who got attacked. And I just learned to stop it. It happened when I learned about generational curses in the Bible and decided to make sure I broke them. It's like we got attacked for me wanting to break the generational curses. I am a counselor. I was looking at it from a counseling perspective, not spiritual. However, we got evil witches, negative spirits, and spiritual gifts to fight back. 

I know that I talked about this before, but it was missed so Nana asked me to clarify again. Feedback from our generation has been wonderful. I've had others share their paranormal and spiritual journey stories. Just because things aren't talked about doesn't mean they aren't happening. This is a taboo subject that locals and the older generation fear and don't believe. I have found people all over the world to learn from that know about this stuff. 

My priest/demonologist was in TN. My spiritual support group had people from Canada, Austria, Australia, California, Florida and other states. I also visited a 5D spiritual retreat in NC trying to get help. I have met some wonderful and not so wonderful people on this journey. Wolves in sheep's clothing in the spiritual community exist.

I have found better community online with people elsewhere than I have locally because most locals are normies. I had to keep secrets with the locals and get help from people who knew about these things to help me. I did find two local paranormal groups locally to help me. They both had psychic mediums on their teams. I was told by paranormal team two that South Carolina has the most paranormal teams per capita. Texas and California have the highest amount overall. 

I didn't want to be a psychic medium. I didn't believe and thought they were all cons. When this first started, I went to a psychic medium for help with the generational curses hoping to stop the attacks. I got later in my journal that she was using black magic, so I left without getting the services that I paid $700 for. I not only do not practice black magic, I don't deal with people who do. 

I dated a guy that was into black magic, but I didn't know. I found out that he was using black magic on me, and I broke up with him. He was doing love sigils on me. He carried his love sigils around in his back pocket when he was with me. I saw them, but didn't know what they were. It was love magic to make me want to be with him. I have had love magic used on me by five warlocks (male witches, but I use witch for all to make it easier) that I know of. 

A sigil is a symbol that you draw or use general ones that is used for magic to get what you want. You can look them up online. You burn them to send off the intent to the spirits or Universe depending on the spell. The downside for the evil witch is that using love magic makes you crazy. He got crazy jealous about other guys because he was doing this.

Evil witches can sense if you are gifted even before you know (like in our case) and they try to engage with you to use your power for their magic. Secret sex magic is a popular way they do this. Sex magic can easily be done in secret by them doing their spell before or after and them using intent during the orgasm. You never know what's happening. Candle magic is easy to use with it because candles are also romantic, not just used in candle magic. It doesn't set of any alarms and makes the victim happy because of the romance. 

I had love magic used on me with three guys from Airport High School (AHS). The first AHS guy told me when I found out that I am gifted that he knew and dated me because of it. He said he only dated gifted people and practicing witches. Most have no idea that this guy and his ex-wife are running around doing spells and sending evil spirits to attack people, but I know. 

The second AHS guy didn't admit, but I knew based on what happened with us. The third AHS guy told me he did magic when he offered to help me with his counter magic to the bad, However, I found out he was using black magic too. I steer clear of all of them.

Another guy that I told about my gifts told me that he was an evil witch and he threatened me that if I didn't marry him, he would attack me. I had never knew this about these guys before this happened. These people hide in plain sight and use the fact that normies don't believe and know what they are doing. 

People don't think evil witches exist anymore, but that is what they want you to think. I know where an evil witch coven exists right down the road in West Columbia, and no one knows they are a practicing coven. Go on meetup.com and you can join a coven here in town. They tried to get me to join many times, but I don’t do black magic or work with negative spirits! These people and their evil spirits they work with are real. 

Have you ever done something that was so out of character that you don't know what you were thinking and you weren't drunk? Then, you just snapped out of it and realized how crazy it was. That's an example of what it feels like to be under a spell of manipulation and coming out of it. I know it well. 

Love spells are like this and very popular among evil witches. They use spirit influence to cause problems between couples to split them up too. If you think I am crazy, google how you can hire someone to help you with a love spell. 

I just googled it and found that "professional magicians serving the Pine Ridge and greater Columbia region typically charge around $300 to $500 for one-hour performance." They make much better money than your typical 9-5 job, and they are practicing right here. There are thousands of profitable businesses made from paid love spells. Instagram (IG) is where the spiritual community likes to hang out. 

There are people that have demonic attachments and possessions too. Some are generational from the family line and others are sent from evil witches. People don't know what's going on with themselves or with others. However, attachments and possessions are real. Your ignorance and cognitive dissonance not wanting to believe make you vulnerable. 

The other local person many know that I discussed before that also has visions and communicates with spirits said they call themselves a seer. They know about these demonic attachments and possessions. Addiction is a sign of unknowingly being influenced. And being addicted and drinking attracts negative spirits and witches. 

A sudden, major negative behavior change is another sign. The seer told me that they sit back and watch people knowing what's going on without saying anything. They said that they don't help people because they have been called crazy before. Well, I am to the point where keeping secrets is harder than caring what others think. 

On paranormal team one, the lead protector could tell if people were possessed or had attachments by looking at their eyes. He had me send pictures of people that I suspected. It was interesting to see how many are this way and don't know it. I could tell when the kids were possessed because their voice and behavior changed drastically. The spirits didn't hide the possession from me the way they do others. They fed on our terror. 

When I was studying possession trying to stop it, I found an article from Costa Rica. Apparently, it is common knowledge there that possession can happen when you drink alcohol. Many times blackouts are possessions. They said that the body gets to drunk for your soul to stay in so it tethers to your body. While it is too toxic for your soul, spirits can hijack your body. You wake up and hear what you supposedly did and freak out, but it wasn't you. I've had this happen to me many times.

Have you ever had a blackout where you did something you'd NEVER do sober? You likely had a spirit possession. They love me and want to take this powerful body for a ride. I quit drinking more than a couple of drinks because of this. They hang out at bars and around heavy drinkers waiting to hijack bodies. 

You can look up all of these things the way that I did. I know you will believe me, but the readers may not. People need to wake up to what's going on around them and to them. The internet can teach you a lot! So can talking to people who know about these things. I am open to talk to the readers. I have been talking to some. 

Well I am heading to bed to relax before I fall asleep. I watch tv until I get sleepy. I love HGTV house hunting and remodeling. That's the only construction I got from my construction family. Good night my love! 

Love Always, 

Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Photo by: google.com

Letter 9: Twin Flame vs Soulmate

To My Noah,

I had court today that went my way. I prayed a lot about it and it worked. I couldn't sleep last night because  I was nervous. I took a nap today after we ate lunch at Monterrey's, and I got a late start to writing. My Aunt Marie said that she doesn't know how I slept with all of the noise, but it's because of my parents partying as a kid. I can sleep through anything. 

Speaking of my parents, I haven't talked much about my mom, Shelly. She passed away in 2022 during my four year fake light being attack. We had a very complicated relationship. She was bipolar and was always physically sick. I felt she was mean to me compared to my brothers. She thought I was a spoiled selfish brat. 

My dad did spoil me for what we had in life, but I wasn't selfish that I know of. I took care of the other children while they partied. I was always over-responsible little adult in a child's body. My son is the same way, but Lexi has taken her childhood. 

You are probably wondering if we saw my mom when she did. I didn't, but the kids did right after her death. They said they saw her at Matt's where I was when I talked to Nana after her death. The kids said they saw her standing by the stairs and told them not to be upset. 

She was used in the four year attack, but we only had that one real encounter with her that I know of. I think she crossed over after her memorial, which is something many do from my understanding from other psychic mediums. I still don't know why some need help and others just cross over. I would've definitely helped her cross over if she needed it. 

I dream about my mom a lot. I think she may be helping me from the other side as a guardian angel. I was going through something really bad, and she showed up in a dream with a friend of mine, Jeremy. My mom and Jeremy were helping me. I needed to feel loved at the time and having that dream helped me come out of the hard time I was in. 

Soon after on my mom's birthday, I met a guy, Walt, at Nana's. I was off social media and had no way to get a hold of anyone. Walt mentioned drag racing, and I asked if he knew my friend Jeremy. He said he did know Jeremy. Before I knew it, Walt was calling Jeremy's dad and then Jeremy for me. 

I reconnected with Jeremy, and he helped me through one of my hardest times. I still think my mom somehow sent Jeremy to me on her birthday after the dream. I think she was letting me know in the dream that Jeremy would help me, and he did. 

I have dated Jeremy many times before, but something always goes wrong. We stayed friends this time because of all that we both have going on. He's another great guy, but things never work out romantically.

The earlier something goes wrong stems from younger me multiple times being too wild to settle down. The one that he left me in I will tell about. When I left Luke, Jeremy reconnected with me on my way back to South Carolina. This time I was a mother and adult ready to settle down. 

He finally got what he seemed to have wanted. All was going well and we were planning a family with the kids. He even got a new truck that they could fit well in. I told him about my five year plan. 

It went south when I had kidney stones. I had 25 years of repeat, tormenting kidney stones that I will tell you about. This day, I had Jeremy watch the kids while I went to the ER. It took hours at the ER. On the way back, I got into a finder bender, which delayed me more. 

Jeremy was left alone with a 1.5 year old Lexi and 3.5 year old Logan. Jeremy has never been a husband or father, so he is inexperienced with children. Lexi had a poop diaper, and he told me how bad it was changing it. I will let Jeremy tell this story because he is messaging me about it right now. 

Jeremy said that poop was awful. Logan told him that he smelled something when they were asleep on the couch. The poop ran down Lexi's back. Jeremy had to literally hold her entire body under running water in the bathtub to get it all off. 

About a week later, he tells me that he can't do the relationship. I was devastated! He was the guy that always wanted me to calm down and be with him, but he called the relationship and family that I wanted off. I kept trying to find a suitable stepdad for the kids after that, but Jeremy was hard to replace. Jeremy and Logan both love racing. 

I assumed all of these years and even told the story that Jeremy called things off over a bad poop diaper because it was too much. Recently, I talked to him about it and he said it was because he didn't feel good enough for me. I thought he was, and I was devastated. 

I was even more devastated when Jeremy started dating a lady with older kids. He can date a lady with older kids, but not that poop in diapers is what it looked like. He let me know that that was the one and only diaper he's ever changed. LOL! It was a big misunderstanding that we finally cleared up with a grown-up talk. It was nice to clear up that it wasn't the poop diaper that ran him off, but insecurity instead. 

I have a problem with guys being intimidated and not feeling good enough. I used to be super independent and combine that with my education, work history, looks, and guy friends, it was really intimidating for them. I still have most of those qualities, but I am not super independent anymore. 

After all of these years of taking care of others, I am ready for My Noah to take care of me. I am exhausted after these past crazy eight years. I bet some reading are shocked to hear this. I am shocked I am finally saying it out loud. 

Jeremy is a good example of a soulmate, although I doubt if he is my twin flame. Jeremy has been in and out of my life for 30 years and seems to be there when I need him. He even picked me up when I was running through the woods with karmic Wayne from the police as a teenager. I know I could be happy with him, but we have never had twin flame love. 

I used soulmate and twin flame interchangeably before because most think of a soulmate as a twin flame. However, in the twin flame community, they are different. A soulmate has traveled with you in multiple lives and may have been your spouse in could be many lives, However, a twin flame is the ultimate soulmate, the other half of your soul in another body or your mirror soul. Most people think of soulmate as the twin flame not realizing that we have multiple soulmates in a soul family that has been together for a long time. 

Many times twin flames get separated and can't be together in a life. Therefore, they support each other from the spirit world with a soulmate in that life who can be with you for your life. Twin flames obviously can't be jealous like many of the guys I've dated. And then in the end of times, many twin flames can finally come back together for good. In the twin flame community, we are in that time.

There is discrepancy on what a twin flame actually is. A mirror soul is your perfect match that mirrors you. In the split theory (main theory), one soul is split via masculinity and feminine and put in two bodies. In that theory, one twin has more of the higher intuitive chakras, usually the female with female intuition. And one twin has more of the lower physical chakras, usually the male with his more physical protective qualities. I will talk more about chakras later.

You have many soul mates, but only one twin flame. And you will have love for and companionship with your soulmates, but it doesn't compare to your twin flame. You will have past lives with your soulmates as different relationships: friend, child, spouse, parent, friend, etc.

The twin flame journey isn't easy if you are incarnated together. There is usually a runner twin and chaser twin. There is usually a long, painful separation where you go through many hard challenges in life and with other partners, some soulmates and some karmics (negative to teach you a lesson). 

There are karmics that can be false twin flames that hurt you and soulmates you confuse as your twin flame that innocently serve as a false twin flame. Karmics hurt you maliciously. However, if soulmates hurt you, it's innocently, usually because of their own pain or problems they are dealing with. Jeremy's insecurity is a good example of this, not malicious, but a problem he was dealing with.

I have another soulmate Jason (another possible twin flame) that I cheated on drunk when I blacked out. I will talk to you later about what I think black outs are. I wouldn't have cheated sober and didn't even remember doing it. However, I hurt him and felt guilty, so I broke up with him hurting him further. Again, my problem of drinking way too much led me to hurt him, so it wasn't karmic malicious.

I have had people know about twin flames and do stuff to pretend to be my twin flame. Jonathan had a fake past life regression (worth $200) to make me think he was my twin flame, but I knew he wasn't because the love was not there. I will talk more about karmics and false twin flames later.  

There is debate in the twin flame community whether everyone has a twin flame or if it's just some special group. Regardless, I know that I have a twin flame out there. I will not settle until I reunite. I will get my happy ending that is better than I can imagine.

The Notebook is a good story showing the difference between a soulmate and twin flame. Allie met Noah and got separated. He was her twin flame and it was a twin flame separation. While separated, she met Lon and was happy in love. However, she saw Noah and ended up leaving Lon for Noah. 

Lon was a soulmate that she could've had a happy life with, but her twin flame was incarnated and available waiting on her. Noah was the chaser and Allie was the runner. She ultimately quit running and married him instead of Lon. She hurt Lon, but it wasn't malicious. She just loved Noah more. And she ended up with a family and a the best kind of love story. 

Not all twin flames go through separation though. Some don't meet to separate. They just can't meet until it's time to be together. You have to be ready through trials and healing because it's an intense relationship, the most intense ever. 

So why do I doubt that I know my twin flame? Well I am a little more open about that after writing about it today because of the twin flame separation being so prominent in the community and talking about it. I count not feeling intense love for anyone as not finding him, but it could be that I wasn't ready for this intense love and ran away. I am a runner by nature, so I would likely be the runner if I am in this dynamic. 

I am going to bed. I haven't been able to go to sleep at night. I got two sets of great news today, so I am happily excited. I move tomorrow to a better place. I will talk to you tomorrow. Good night my love. 💏

Love Always, 

Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Picture by: datingmansecrets.com

Letter 8: It's Your Love

To My Noah,

I have been getting great feedback on the blog. It has opened up many conversations with people. One person I know divulged that they have visions and communicate with spirits too. They don't want me to tell who they are. Others have had experiences that they don't talk about, but have with me. Gifted people are so alone in this because the normies I call them will judge and won't accept it. This person told me that people have thought they were crazy. 

Nana and my Aunt Betty are worried about me attracting spirits with the blog. It's not like they ever went away. They just stopped possessing the kids. I waited until the kids were older and strong enough and free from attacks for four years before I wrote about it. They come before a blog. I've only had one incident and that was unplugging my computer. No big deal to me after all we have been through.  

Nana said The Bible says mediums are evil. She is just worried that they will hurt us again. She is worried that practicing mediumship will be against God. There is nothing evil about me, and I did not choose these gifts. I am not selling sessions or crossing anyone over even though I can. I am a certified evidential psychic medium, demonologist, tarot and angel card reader, and past life regressionist. I learned a lot trying to make this stop. 

I did everything I could to make the gifts go away. I even prayed with the kids multiple times to God to please take them away so we can be left alone. If God didn't want us to have these gifts, he should've not let us get them or taken them when we asked. 

That didn't happen because God gave these gifts to us. He must have really trusted me to be a portal between worlds and giving me two gifted children. I may use my certifications later. Telling our story is enough ruffling of feathers in the spirit world at one time. 

The evil spirits tried so hard to stop me from telling our story. And 68 people have heard it now. That's not a whole lot, but it feels good to have it out. It was so hard going through all of that alone and trying to keep it a secret. 

I will tell about the first personal attack on me. It was soon after I learned that I am a psychic medium. Justin was told a little about it during it, but he has no idea how bad he was used to hurt me. I've recently seen him, but I didn't say anything about it. 

It started with hearing his name that turned into, "Justin is your twin flame." I started getting visions then too. It started with a dream where we were in a dark room dancing to "It's Your Love." It progressed to my first visions of us dancing in that same room to that same song. It got really bad where I would see and hear it all day for five months. 

I also got a vision of him having sex with someone else. That went on for months too. He was my friends with benefits (FWB) previously. However, he deployed, and I didn't want a FWB anymore when he came back. It was a fat girl he finally started dating. He didn't date while we were FWB for three years. This was the first one he dated and those visions grossed me out! 

It was Justin voices, visions, and dreams 24/7 for five months straight. Bryan and the mean girls have been used negatively in dreams too. I kicked Bryan off my Facebook over it without telling him why. I just wanted the dreams to stop. I do not suspect him of being evil either, just used because of our past. The same goes for the mean girls.

Being told that I would see Justin at the store buying cigarettes and then seeing him at the store buying cigarettes happened during this five months too. They really wanted me to believe that he was my twin flame and with another, fat woman. It was awful! I just wanted relief from it. I even contacted a twin flame expert who said he wasn't my twin flame, but a false twin flame instead. He's a great guy, but not my twin flame. 

Justin and so many others were used in a longer, four year attack by false light beings too. I thought they were helping, but they were playing good cop, bad cop pretending to battle each other when they all were bad. Again, I will say, there are good spirits that have helped, but these weren't it. It is so hard to tell the difference.

We have gotten family members that have passed away to help us, my Papa and Lee. They came in with the hat man attacks. Craig who died was used because I cared about him so much. They pretended to be him after a vision that he is my medium guide. I did a meditation to meet my medium guide and got Craig. 

I still don't know if I really had contact with Craig because of evil spirit interference. However, this fake Craig told me that Craig was my twin flame and since he died, he wanted me to be happy with Jonathan. This was when I realized that I didn't love Jonathan and wanted to leave him. Here came fake Craig to tell me to stay. Craig was the only one used negatively then. 

I had good dreams with Justin, Jeremy, and Trevor at this same time. Those dreams showed me that I wasn't in love with Jonathan.  These guys unknowingly saved me from the craze with Jonathan. I wasn't in love with them either, but we just hung out in the dreams and had much more chemistry. I told Jonathan all of this too. 

I steer clear of all finding My Noah help. I will figure My Noah out on my own! They use the ones I care about against me. I can't take anymore after the four year attack. I don't want the evil spirits to win by me not crossing people over, but I have to take care of myself and heal. Telling my story is helping me heal. 

What am I looking for? I want to want and love someone the way these guys have wanted and lusted after me. I have a problem with them wanting me and me not being able to want or love them back. It doesn't seem like too much to ask for the feelings to be mutual, but I have been knowingly looking for that for a long time. 

Someone asked me how I will find My Noah without dating. That was a good question. I will date after a time in the friend zone, get to know place. If I already know them, it's a let's see if more is a possibility place. Either way, I am testing the waters from the friend zone, then moving onto dating, and then a relationship.

I am trying different posting times out. Doing it when I finished at 10:30 pm did not do as well as when I posted at noon. I am going to try posting after my evening walk to see how that works. My Noah, it's actually your love that has a spell on me to where I can't settle. Good night my love! 💟

Love Always, 

Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Picture by: pinterest.com/pin

Letter 7: Soul Transitions

To My Noah,

I got a late start today because I went to lunch and to West Columbia River Walk. It was nice. I am obsessed with being near water. I lived on the lake with husband three, but I had to leave it when I left him because I couldn't afford it alone. 

Today, I want to talk about the difference between a psychic and a medium. I will also tell you my different experiences. A psychic reads energy, is an intuitive, and can tell future events. A medium communicates with spirits and other beings. 

My psychic comes from dreams, intuition, and spirits. My medium like all mediums comes from spirits themselves. Not all spirits are bad, but it's what we have encountered the most. The difference between my medium and other mediums is that I can transition souls to the other side. Not all mediums can do that. 

That consists of opening a portal for them to go though. It's quite easy for me and only takes a few minutes, but it attracts a lot of spirits. It attracts souls that want to transition and spirits that don't want me transitioning them over that I call evil spirits.

Evil spirits are vicious! Some souls that want to transition violate boundaries too by getting into the kids to get me to transition them. I can't even tell you how many times my children have been possessed by both types of spirits. 

An example of a spirit giving me an accurate future prediction is when I was driving down the road with the kids. I was driving down I-77 and told the kids that we need to stop by the store on the way home. I heard, "Justin will be at the store buying cigarettes." 

I was used to ignoring them by that time. I pulled into the store and thought nothing else about it until I walked into the store and saw Justin standing there. I panicked and ran down the isle. I called my best friend Jessica to tell her what happened. 

While I was on the phone with Jessica, I heard the clerk telling Justin that he forgot to take his cigarettes. We both get flustered when we see each other. LOL! They were right, Justin was at the store buying cigarettes, and he wasn't there yet when I was going down I-77 and heard it. I still don't know how they knew that he was going to be there buying cigarettes when I came in, but he was. 

The Justin attack (they used him, not him doing it) is a story in itself that lasted 5 months that I will tell you about later. There are so many attack stories. There are so many beings that people don't know exist. This world is not what regular people think. These things are out there all over the internet, but regular people don't get exposed to it. I didn't get exposed to it until this happened to us. 

I will tell the story about how I learned to transition souls to cover the medium part of this. I was working at my office at the University of South Carolina. I was upset about Lexi's recent attack and panicking that I couldn't tell my co-workers what I was going through. I looked at my computer and saw a pop-up. 

The pop-up was a description of a lady transitioning souls. I opened it up and read it. I wondered, can I do this to get rid of them so they quit attacking us? I learned what she did and called Josh and Jonathan to try it. 

Josh came, and we smudged the house. I went outside. I closed my eyes. I opened a portal, and watched them go through. It was super easy and effective. The problem is that it attracted more spirits. It's like a spirit memo went out that this portal between worlds learned how to transition. 

My learning was supposed to make it better, but it made it worse. I put a picture of the closest I could find to show what a portal I create looks like. I start creating a small white light with my mind's eye, and I gradually make it bigger until it gets big enough to let spirits through. Angels come to escort the souls to the other side. When I am done, I make it smaller and make it disappear. Super easy, but super attractive to spirits. 

The spirit Chad that told me Harold would go away and Logan would be a billionaire also told me that he had to go through multiple dimensions to get to us because he heard about us and found us to help him. Chad possessed Logan, not Lexi, which was rare.

My Aunt Sharon and Aunt Sonya (really 3rd cousin, but she's like my aunt, so that's what we call her) cleared up the Ouija board story today. I wasn't there, I just heard about it. They said a nail polish/tissue fire was started to cause the damage, no mystery there. I am glad someone finally cleared that one up for me. 

My Grandma Shala is accused of being a witch that used a voodoo doll on my mother to make her sickly. I asked her with all of this going on. She said no that she goes to church regularly and isn't a witch. Family stories can get crazy!

Back to transitioning souls, I have no idea where they go. I wonder that so much. What did Chad mean about traveling through dimensions to get to us? Why could he travel through dimensions to get to us, but not transition without us? Why do some get trapped, unable to transition? I have asked these questions of spirits and other psychic mediums. 

The only thing I have gotten that seems somewhat credible is that some have traumatic experiences and unfinished business that make them unable to transition. The answer really is, no one here knows, and I am not sure if the spirits truly understand either. If so, they haven't explained it to me. 

I do know much more than the average person about what actually exists in this world. One I hope is true is twin flames. I want to believe that there is another part of my soul in another body for that perfect match. I have studied it intensely and been through a lot with it. During the Justin attack, spirits made me think he was my twin flame, but he isn't. 

Later, during the fake light being attacks, they made me think an entire lie story about my twin flame. It brings me joy to think there is someone out there like that for me, but I have so much trauma around it. The Notebook is on the list of twin flame movies and that love is what I am going for.  

I had a numerology twin flame reading that told me that I will meet my twin flame, but not see his value and realize it later in life. That reading was so accurate in other areas that I wonder if I missed someone along the way. It's only one reading out of many things I have looked into. My astrology report says that I will find love later in life. That one is obviously true because I'm almost 44 and still haven't found it. 

Well I am relaxing for the night. I had a good day and it was really easy to write. Yesterday was harder. I will talk to you tomorrow. Good night my love! 💋

Love Always, 

Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Picture by: primevideo.com

Letter 6: Hungry Ghosts

 

To My Noah,

I launched the blog today. Last I checked 48 people read Letter 1 and 24 people read all five letters. I am doing it for you, but it is nice that I can share with others and maybe meet you this way. I updated my post to add them sending this to anyone who may be My Noah. It's a long shot, but that was 48 chances of finding you that I didn't have before. 

I know that God will send you to me when it's time. I will be prepared. I think I am already getting there mentally. I just need some things to move forward, and major progress was made today, aside from launching the blog. It has been a good, productive day. Readers, please say a prayer for me, for this to progress and for me to find My Noah. 

I told Nana that I am writing in the largest font so she and other older people can see it. She liked that. Like always, I hardly have any reactions to my posts, but 48 people read it. Therefore, I know people are paying attention even though they don't react to my posts. This tracker is really cool. I know four of the people so far because they messaged me. 

My last eight years have been total hell. Being a psychic medium isn't easy. Spirits love people who they can communicate with and boundaries are not something I have been able to master with them. That is why I do not do psychic medium work or tell people until now. I may offer services later. 

However, right now, I want them to leave me alone, so I can have peace. The kids have had peace for the past four years. It's just me they harrass now. I will gladly take it so the kids are safe. 

I am the one that passed this along to them. I didn't know where the medium side came from until I talked to Jenny on my dad's side of the family. She lives in Florida, but I got to meet her in person. She said mediumship runs in the family on that side. I was worried about telling people about the spirit attacks and being a psychic medium, but it's gone well. People are open to it. 

I mentioned hungry ghosts, but didn't explain what those are. I put a pic of the closest I found of what they look like with their distended bellies. Gross! Another psychic medium had to tell me what was happening to Lexi, and she told me about them. They are celebrated in Asia. Other countries are much better educated on spirits that the United States. 

Hungry ghosts are the lowest of spirits that we have encountered, including what look like and say they are extraterrestrials (ETs). They had some trauma to where they feel like they are starving in the afterlife. Just imagine the worst kind of hunger that doesn't go away. They feed on people and steal food. I have no idea why spirits want physical food, but it helps them somehow with their hunger.

We had a spirit named Adam that was really bad. He's a whole story in itself, but after Adam possessed Lexi, the hungry ghosts showed up and possessed both of my children, mostly Lexi. Lexi would get so hungry after they possessed her. They possessed her to steal her food. It was awful!

One night after 15 possessions that day, I had to feed her five dinners. Those things should not be celebrated in Asia! They are nuts to leave food out for them. They steal food too. We had it stolen from our pantry multiple times. 

The worst was named Harold. We had such a hard time getting rid of him. A decent spirit told me that we would get rid of Harold and my son will be a billionaire. We got rid of Harold, but Logan is still too young to see if the rest is true. 

I will talk about the hungry ghosts more later. I already made someone mad by telling my story. I had my laptop unplugged when I am alone in the room. I heard, "it was me," but I am ignoring it. You learn to ignore it when they won't stop talking. For a while, my head was like Grand Central Station. 

My biggest attraction is that I can cross spirits over. Not all psychic mediums can do that. Many can't. They call me. "a portal between worlds." Lexi is too, that's why they took her body so many times. She was too young to fight back then. I taught her. The soul is what crosses people over, but our bodies are powerful too. There are spirits that want to cross over and bad spirits that don't want those spirits leaving. Some love me, some hate me. 

We've had all types and this is in order of how they came: shadows, the hat man, past family members and family members that say they are from past lives of ours, murder/suicide victims and perpetrators, hungry ghosts, demons, what claimed to be the devil and his son, ETs, and what said they were light beings and lied. It has been a nightmare for sure. 

It's been a long day. I have been talking to people all day about this. It's going very well. I got a message from the bully Bryan. He read the blog and apologized again for his "before he had hair under his arms" self. LOL!

Bryan said we have good memories too, so I told him to tell me some because I don't remember, and I will share them. I plan to do posts for others to share their stories with me to help jog my memory and include people. I will have a field day with guys I have dated. I have talked to a few of them today. 

Well, I am heading to bed. I will talk to you tomorrow. I am going to lunch with a friend that I reconnected with today, so it will be a good day. I am looking forward to getting out. Good night my love. 💖

Love Always, 

Your Allie, Christa

tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Photo by: sinistercoffeeandcreamery.com/blog/hungryghost

Letter 5: The Hat Man

To My Noah,

I am still having a hard time wanting to allow others to read this. I don't feel qualified and feel like I am doing well enough on storytelling for a blog or book. I can't remember enough for vivid details to bring the people into the stories. I have done that in a previous book I started with 26,000 words that I wrote about the spirit attacks. I deleted that book because I was scared to tell people about what happened to us. Now, it's been four years and the details aren't as vivid for me. It's a story that needs told though. 

I can start by year. In 2018, the kids told me that they were seeing black shadows. At first, I didn't pay it attention, but I thought something was wrong with them so I used my free counseling from work to find a counselor for them. Greg, the counselor, told me that the kids are seeing spirits. I told Greg that I never thought about if spirits were real. 

Greg told me that my kids are gifted and can see them. He said it usually runs in families. I went to my family to find out what was going on with us. My Nana (maternal grandma) had been referred to as psychic before. Grandma Shala (paternal grandma) had been called a witch. I wanted to know where this came from. 

Nana said she knows things sometimes before they happen. I rarely talk to Grandma Shala but invited her to lunch. She denied being a witch, but said she does have some psychic tendencies. My dad pulled his shirt up and showed me a second set of nipples that are called witches nipples. My mom said she has psychic knowing like my Nana.

I had heard some family stories about my aunt being haunted, my paternal grandmother putting spells on my mother, and a Ouija board burning through a bed when a family member used it. However, I never really paid attention or thought about it. I didn't have a choice but to think about it with the kids seeing shadows. 

Things started happening. One day a tv turned on by itself. I cut it off and it happened again and again. I couldn't believe what was happening. The same thing kept showing up. It was a preview of The Smurf movie that said summarized that Smurfette was going into the enchanted forest to fight Gargamel. 

This happened a second time with the tv and it was a preview of The Power Rangers with power coming out of his hand. I thought, what is this trying to show me. Do I use my power to defeat some evil spirit? By this time, I believed, and I was super scared. I did not know what to do because people wouldn't believe what was happening to us. 

That is when I met the hat man. I wish I never heard that name. The hat man is a shadow that harassed us for a long time. The kids kept saying that they saw a man shaped shadow with a hat. The kids started calling him the hat man. 

Imagine my surprise when I looked it up to find that others had seen The hat man and call him the same thing. He is a disastrous phenomenon that people all over the world share. People said he was a demon/evil spirit that haunts and scares people. I was horrified at this point. 

I started looking online at everything I could find. I learned to sage cleanse the house. I bought crystal and lava protection jewelry for all three of us. I bought rosemary and put it around the house. I started using aromatherapy throughout the house. I even used sound HZ for cleansing a house. We could not get rid of the hat man.  

He started off just showing up and sitting there scaring the kids. It escalated after I called in a paranormal team in 2019. We will call them paranormal team one. This team had two leads, a veteran and a lady that called herself a psychic witch. 

When I called them, I told them about the hat man and other spirits. They told me that they are both gifted, but she was the intuitive and he was the protector. They said they would come out to help us. This team did not charge a fee like some did. 

In the few days between talking to them and them showing up, I had my first communication. I was in the shower, and I heard a voice say, "My name is ______." I can't remember the name now because it was a strange name. I panicked and looked all around. No one was there. I called the paranormal protector who told me that they are communicating with me.

They showed up in what I think was August 2019. I had just gotten a grey kitten that I named Sage because I heard cats could get rid of evil spirits. When they showed up, they had a bunch of equipment. We stood in the driveway, and I asked why this was happening to us. They said that we are all three psychic mediums and we are like lights in the darkness to them because we can see and hear them. They want to communicate with people that can communicate with them. 

I told them that we do not want to be psychic mediums, we just want to be left alone. They told me that it is not something you choose, it is a gift that the kids inherited from me even though I never knew I had it until now. I thought to myself, what have I given them this time? I was always scared to have children because of what I may pass to them from my crazy family. This was definitely not on my list of things to worry about, this was worse. 

When paranormal team one was in the house, they brought a spirit box. This is an audio box that allows you to hear spirits. They were speaking to the spirits using the spirit box. We were given 13 names for how many people were in the house at the time. 

Only three of the 13 were helping us. They also said they were attacking my daughter so bad to take her soul and take her body over. I was terrified at this point. They stayed at our house for 8 hours. You would think it would get better after that, but it got worse. 

The hat man was mad and escalated to scratching the kids. Scratches would just appear on them with no one there that I could see, and they told me it was the hat man. It happened to Lexi twice in one day and Logan once. 

I called my Nana in a panic and went to stay at her house. The hat man came with us and attacked Lexi in the shower at Nana's too with a big scratch. I ended up going home the next day because my house wasn't the problem, he followed us to her on the other side of the same golf course. 

You are probably wondering if it was just the golf course that he was on, but no. The hat man came to the kids' day care. I put them in a taekwondo day care hoping learning to fight would help them. Lexi got attacked and locked in the bathroom by the hat man there. I also kept protection jewelry on them and it kept being broken. We had many bracelets broken at their day care. I wanted to tell people, but I was scared of what they would think. 

A story popped up on my computer at work about crossing spirits over, so I decided to try it to get rid of the hat man and other spirits. I invited Josh and Jonathan over to help with it. Jonathan couldn't make it, but Josh came. 

We smudged the house and then went on my patio to open a portal like I read to do. I closed my eyes, imagined a light spreading and opening up a portal. I call seeing this with your minds eye and that's what happened. I saw a bunch of spirits going through the portal that I created. 

The last spirit waved at me before going in. I hoped it was the hat man, but it wasn't. One of the names that paranormal team one got in the spirit box was my uncle's last name that could also be a lady's first name. I had a dream about him at around the same time where I walked into a salon and saw his face on the desk. I think he was trapped and finally got to cross over. 

The hat man attacks lasted for over a year. I found out from paranormal team two that the hat man we were dealing with was a farmer that lived on the golf course land that owned slaves. They also said that the people in the house were probably some of his slaves that were trapped by him. I have crossed over more spirits than I can even count trying to save my children, but the hat man has never been one of them. He is still running around somewhere. 

I will talk more about crossing spirits and this topic later. I am going to bed. I plan to launch the blog tomorrow. I will post all five spaced out to Facebook and Instagram. I am holding off on medium for now because it got complicated with publishing and is a lot of work on top of blogger. I want to enjoy this process with you. Good night my love! 😇

Love Always, 

Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Picture by: steampowered.com

Letter 4: You Are Worth It

To My Noah,

Today, I started writing late because we ran some errands. I will tell you today about my middle school bullying. I already told you about ratgirl and Bryan bringing me cheese to school. My best friend in elementary school was Amanda, but my best friend in middle school was Crystal. She was more popular than me. She was raised by her grandparents and had more money. We played softball together for one season. 

We had a group of mean girls at our school like most schools. Crystal wasn’t in that group, but she hung out with them sometimes and invited them to events. Bryan wasn’t with them, but they all picked on me. 

One night I went to a sleepover at Crystals house for her birthday. It started off well. We jumped on the trampoline. When it was time for bed, the teasing started. I remember wanting to leave, but I didn’t. 

When I went to sleep, they put marker on my face and put my hand in water. I am not even sure what the second one does. There was probably more, but I don’t remember. Memory is my worst default with this process, but it will work out. I will be asking for help remembering important events.

I decided to go on the medium blog site too. They have a built in audience, so I can reach new people and not have to rely on the people I already know because that was unsuccessful in the past with a blog Jessica and I did called Cre8 Awakening.

I am able to own my work by doing it on blogger first and share it on medium by importing it from blogger. If I write it on medium first, I don’t own it. It could be considered double the work, but all I have to do is import it to medium and I get the benefit of owning it and having a platform to share it on with readers. I am glad you are going through this journey with me. If all I get out of this is you having it to read when we meet, it will be worth it. 

Back to the bullying. It wasn't always all out bullying that hurt, it was being left out in the cold. At school I felt alone. I did not fit with any group and spent a lot of time alone. Everyone hung out at the skating rink in cliques, and I remember feeling so bad that I was alone. Feeling alone during couples skate was particularly bad because I rarely got to skate with someone. I have felt alone my entire life, but I am beautiful and intelligent and have so much to offer someone. Why has it been so difficult for me? Why can't people see my worth?

I am having a hard time wanting to launch the blog because I don't want to share what I am writing to you now it is time to do so. Would anyone other than you be interested in this? I think so because I keep being told to write about my life. I have wrote about the tragedy, but there is a lot of success too. 

I am the the first person to go to college in my family. I created an Career and Academic Advising Center at Midlands Technical College. I raised two wonderful children. Both kids get all As and Logan knows 15+ languages.

There is good in my life, but a lot has been bad. I made the best of it and felt successful until a monkey wrench was thrown to change things. I am still successful, but in a different way. I have survived and thrived through so much that should've taken me out. That is my greatest accomplishment, earning accomplishments with everything I have had as barriers. 

I am going to bed. I have been on medium following publications and learning about publishing with them. I found a few potential ones to write for and one even was about letter writing. I am looking forward to this process. It will definitely keep me busy. Good night my love! 💙

Love Always, 

Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Picture by: workityouareworthit.com

Letter 3: Rock Bottom Foundation

To My Noah,

Today, I had to update my last two posts because my therapist said I should not tell too much because people are mean. I haven’t launched the blog yet. I know you will not judge me, but others will. I will limit what I share about my current situation and about some of my past because this is going public. I will add to it later for you. My Nana was also worried about this. 

I am worried about this because I am coming up from rock bottom. Rock bottom really is the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. I am no longer at rock bottom, but people like to hit you when you are down. I had a guy try to coerce me into being with him due to my situation. He thought he would get a relationship out of me needing him, so I got rid of him all together. 

I'm not desperate and don't need anyone that much. I already made that mistake with the third husband needing protection from spirits. I won't make that mistake again. I have been on the streets homeless and hungry and still refused to settle for Mr. Wrong.

I want to focus on talking to you, not the structure of running a blog or writing a book that others will read. However, I will balance the desires vs. the needs. I want this for myself because I needed a hobby, and I really like journaling. However, I also need to tell my story, so it's a win-win. 

I have been so worried about the format, being judged, not knowing what I am doing, etc. that I delayed doing this for four years after going to sessions to learn how to create a blog and write a book. I was stuck because I couldn't decide what format I wanted to tell my story in. When I went to write you it hit me that this is what I need to do to tell my story. 

I looked it up and this is called an epistolary novel. I worked backwards. I found a personal need to fulfill and then realized that it was my blog and book too. Then, I looked it up to see what I am creating. I still don't know how to format the story with going back and forth between past and present, but I will figure things out as I go.

I free-write in my regular journal, so I will probably use that method because I am comfortable with it and it's the easiest, least stress way. I want to make money, but I do not want this to feel like a job. I started this to feel close to you before I unite with you. I also want to tell you about my life, what you missed so you can get to know me. This will make 'getting to know you' easy from my end. And if a guy doesn't like this, he's not My Noah.

My aunt Sharon gave me an idea today. When I made a Facebook post about the blog and what I was doing, she posted a story about me when I was two. I don't have details, but I have heard all of my life how I wanted something and put my rocking horse through a window because I couldn't have it. I got the idea to post for others to give me story ideas. I will most posts for them to submit ideas and then I can choose which stories I want to write about in the blog/book. 

Back to the story about my childhood. We covered some stories for the first ten years of my life. Throughout my childhood things that we frequently did was: dance and sing in our socks in the kitchen, play baseball, play rummy, make mud pies, climb trees, make forts, and go to the skating rink. When I was around 11 years old, Bryan brought cheese to school and gave it to me for a holiday calling me ratgirl. It was humiliating with everyone watching. He did apologize as an adult. When I was 12, I got my braces. When I was 13, my parents split up and I moved in with my grandparents. 

When I was 14, I got my first delinquent boyfriend in high school. Bryan was my middle school infatuation, and Wayne was my high school infatuation. He was so arrogant. He just laid in the gym floor all sprawled out like he was a king. He came to the window when Jessica and I were in Math class. She told me his name. 

I wish she would've told me to stay away from him. I probably wouldn't have listened. It took one wave through the classroom window for me to fall in infatuation. Fast forward and I am half-naked in a lime green outfit visiting him in juvenile jail. He sounds a lot like my father huh? Yeah, I know. Oedipus complex in full swing. They both had the same dark hair, olive Native American look too. 

What's worse is the first husband is his brother. After about 5 years of dealing with Wayne's crap, I found his brother to be more suitable. I was in college and I ran into him at a party. Both of us were studying while everyone else was partying. We bonded over both being devoted college students that loved to vacation at the beach. 

I was infatuated with one that I could not be with because he was too messed up, and I couldn't fall in love with the one that was good. This is a pattern for me that I have since broken. The third husband pretended for three years to be this great guy before I even let him out of the friend zone. Too bad it wasn't true, but it does show that I learned the infatuation with bad boys lesson because I thought I was choosing a good guy this time. 

Back to the present, twice now I have seen posts about oversharing. This comes after the warning from the therapist and Nana. I have always had a problem with this. The second post said you do this because you weren't heard as a child. That makes sense for me. However, I let fear of telling my story delay me four years after hard work and financial investment. I do not feel like I care what people think anymore. I have been hurt by people so much that I feel immune to caring what they think of me. 

I see that everyone else has their person and that makes me sad, but I know that many of them are not as happy with their partner that I will be with you. So many people settle for comfort, convenience, loneliness, financial benefit, etc. I have already learned that I cannot be happy if I settle for anything less than soulmate love. Some may say that I am expecting too much or my dreams of finding you are unrealistic, but soulmate love is the only true romantic love to me. I would rather be alone than have less than soulmate love. And I have chosen to be alone for that reason most of my life.

If you are wondering what I mean by soulmate love, The Notebook does a great job of showing it. Noah is crazy about her and she is crazy about him. He lays down and dies with her at the end of the movie. I have also heard of couples where one dies and the other dies soon after of a broken heart. That does border on co-dependence, but that is okay as long as it's not restrictive during the relationship. 

What am I waiting for before I decide to date? I want to find someone worth taking the risk on. I want a good amount of time as friends to make sure we are compatible. I want to be in my new place to live and have my finances settled with the new place. I am in the process of finding a new place to live and the transition phase is hard for me. 

I also plan to make new single friends to do things with until I find you. I want to make sure I am fulfilled on my own, so I am not coming from a place of lack going into a relationship. I don't want to be on the rise from rock bottom, I want to be at the top on my own so I feel like I am bringing my best to the relationship.

I am heading to bed soon. I am not sure on the timing of these blog posts. I want to talk to you all day until bed. I can write until bed and then post on Facebook and Instagram the next day. I think that is what I will do. I am learning as I go without stress. Good night my love! 💘

Love Always,

Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com

Picture by: x.com/jancavelle