To My Noah,
Today, I started writing late because we ran some errands. I will tell you today about my middle school bullying. I already told you about ratgirl and Bryan bringing me cheese to school. My best friend in elementary school was Amanda, but my best friend in middle school was Crystal. She was more popular than me. She was raised by her grandparents and had more money. We played softball together for one season.
We had a group of mean girls at our school like most schools. Crystal wasn’t in that group, but she hung out with them sometimes and invited them to events. Bryan wasn’t with them, but they all picked on me.
One night I went to a sleepover at Crystals house for her birthday. It started off well. We jumped on the trampoline. When it was time for bed, the teasing started. I remember wanting to leave, but I didn’t.
When I went to sleep, they put marker on my face and put my hand in water. I am not even sure what the second one does. There was probably more, but I don’t remember. Memory is my worst default with this process, but it will work out. I will be asking for help remembering important events.
I decided to go on the medium blog site too. They have a built in audience, so I can reach new people and not have to rely on the people I already know because that was unsuccessful in the past with a blog Jessica and I did called Cre8 Awakening.
I am able to own my work by doing it on blogger first and share it on medium by importing it from blogger. If I write it on medium first, I don’t own it. It could be considered double the work, but all I have to do is import it to medium and I get the benefit of owning it and having a platform to share it on with readers. I am glad you are going through this journey with me. If all I get out of this is you having it to read when we meet, it will be worth it.
Back to the bullying. It wasn't always all out bullying that hurt, it was being left out in the cold. At school I felt alone. I did not fit with any group and spent a lot of time alone. Everyone hung out at the skating rink in cliques, and I remember feeling so bad that I was alone. Feeling alone during couples skate was particularly bad because I rarely got to skate with someone. I have felt alone my entire life, but I am beautiful and intelligent and have so much to offer someone. Why has it been so difficult for me? Why can't people see my worth?
I am having a hard time wanting to launch the blog because I don't want to share what I am writing to you now it is time to do so. Would anyone other than you be interested in this? I think so because I keep being told to write about my life. I have wrote about the tragedy, but there is a lot of success too.
I am the the first person to go to college in my family. I created an Career and Academic Advising Center at Midlands Technical College. I raised two wonderful children. Both kids get all As and Logan knows 15+ languages.
There is good in my life, but a lot has been bad. I made the best of it and felt successful until a monkey wrench was thrown to change things. I am still successful, but in a different way. I have survived and thrived through so much that should've taken me out. That is my greatest accomplishment, earning accomplishments with everything I have had as barriers.
I am going to bed. I have been on medium following publications and learning about publishing with them. I found a few potential ones to write for and one even was about letter writing. I am looking forward to this process. It will definitely keep me busy. Good night my love! 💙
Love Always,
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