To My Noah,
First, let's get some questions out of the way. Who is My Noah? It is the term I use for my soulmate/twin flame that I have not found yet. Where did I get the name Noah from? The Notebook is my favorite movie. Noah is the husband in the movie. Their soulmate/twin flame kind of love is what I am looking for, and I refuse to settle for less.
What are these letters and this blog about? I am writing letters to you (My Noah) about my life story, so you can get to know me when we meet and to track the journey of finding you. Allie (Noah's wife in the movie) writes their story that Noah tells her in the movie to bring her back to him when she forgets him because she has Alzheimer's disease in her elderly years.
Noah wrote Allie letters when they were separated for seven years in their younger years. I am combining the two and changing it up with my format. I’ll tell you my story as we go. I will go back and forth between talking to you in the present and telling you about my past. Hopefully, it's not too confusing, but the movies do it all of the time.
If I am lucky, you will see these letters on your own like a message in a bottle and come to me via the blog email. Regardless, I am using this as manifestation and exposure to bring you to me. This can be to literally find you or just get to know me when I do find you. I am a hopeful romantic as I am sure you can tell already.
I have to be 100% sure it’s you. You could be someone I already know, but I doubt it. I’ve had many failed relationships and none where I felt the kind of love that Allie and Noah have in The Notebook. I left my children's father over not having this kind of love along with his lying and secrets. I know I deserve soulmate love and that I can have it with you. I have been looking for my Noah ever since I saw that movie and for my soulmate my entire life.
I want you to know how much I already know I love you. I cannot settle no matter how good the offer sounds or how bad it gets for me. I have been almost dead twice waiting for you. I hold no resentment for what I have been through waiting for you. I feel like I already know you, maybe from another life or because we are always connected.
I want to tell you about myself and my life up until this point. I have a Bachelor's degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice and a Master's Degree in Education. I also got certified to teach Criminal Justice and as a Rehabilitation Counselor. I worked as an advisor, counselor, and instructor for 15 years.
I have two children that I adore, Logan (17 in July) and Lexi (15 in September). I was married to their dad for four years while he was in the Army. I did not plan on being with him, but we got pregnant. We only made it long enough for me to have two kids two years apart. I quit breast feeding with Lexi and went back to work to leave him.
I started with very bad beginnings being born to a 13 year old mom and 15 year old dad in an unwed mother’s home. My mother (now deceased) was bipolar and on drugs. My father is also on drugs and is a hoarder. I love my father very much. My parents kept me with my grandparents' help and got married when I was two. I had two brothers, Aaron 3.5 years younger than me and Cameron eight years younger than me.
We grew up in a party household where I started cooking, cleaning, and baby sitting all of the kids by eight while the parents partied. We went to Grace Baptist Church on Sunday mornings and came home to clean up. My mom was jealous of me and her favorite term for me was “selfish bitch.” I was my dad’s baby girl and princess, and my mom hated that.
I was born in Charleston, SC and was taken home to West Columbia, SC. I was given my mother’s maiden name and lived with my grandparents until my parents got married when I was two. My parents got married after my dad did a year in prison for robbery. My dad is a roofer and hog farmer. My mom was a bipolar dental assistant and waitress. I was also a waitress for seven years in college.
I have been told to write my life story many times in a book. I was told most recently by my psychiatrist, so I will be taking these and turning it into a book. I’ve tried to write my book many times and spent months on it already. I wrote the stories, but I didn't have a structure. I lost it all of what I had written, so I have to start over with this blog.
The blog just came to me from me wanting a hobby and longing to talk to you. I went to tell you about myself and realized this is my blog and book. You have no idea how long I’ve waited to figure this out. It’s perfect!
This isn’t the first time I’ve talked to you. I didn’t write letters like now. I just spoke out loud to you. It seems a little crazy, but it made me feel close to you. I hope that I am sending God/the Universe manifestation to finally bring you to me.
I’ve been married three times, but never truly been in love. They were all situational marriages. The first one, David, was to a guy that was great and we had a lot of fun together, but I was too young and felt guilty that I couldn’t love him back. I didn’t want that marriage and cried trying to stop it, but I didn’t want to hurt him. The second marriage, Luke, was because I got pregnant as I told you. We got in a fight on our wedding night and I cried then too.
The third marriage, Jonathan, was during the spirit attacks and only happened because I wanted protection from the attacks. A year and a half into that marriage, we were told by the spirits that he was responsible for the spirit attacks, so I left him. I still don't know for sure if he had something to do with it, but it started a year after I met him and stopped when I left him four years later.
I am doing this knowing my plan for the blog and book, but I want this to be fun and a conversation with you before I meet you. I don’t want to feel like talking to you is work. I can reformat or not when I go to turn it into a book. I already feel close to you again.
I am heading to bed now. I will write you throughout the day during my free time and post at night before bed. I will write you one letter each day until I find you. I’m not dating until my life is together better, so it will probably be a while.
I am looking for my best friend as a love, so everyone will spend a lot of time in the friend zone before any romance. This isn’t a guarantee because husband three was kept in the friend zone for three years where he did great, but he changed after we got married. I still have faith in finding you to spite all of the risks and failures. Good night my love! 😴
Love Always,
Your Allie, Christa
tomynoahblog@gmail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment